After a conflict, identify the extent to which you contributed to it by using this list. If you find yourself checking off the same items repeatedly after conflicts, the EAP can help you devise strategies to get along better with others at work.

___ Combativeness. You provoked a fight or at least made it worse with hurtful, cynical or inflammatory comments. You knew the minute you opened your mouth that your remarks would add fuel to the fire.

___ Impulsiveness. You lost your cool. You let your temper flare or you raised your voice needlessly, triggering resistance.

___ Stubbornness. You refused to back down or admit error, even though deep down you knew you were at least partly to blame. You were unwilling to listen and learn.

___ Bitterness. You took out your pent-up anger on someone. A simmering resentfulness drove you to conflict, possibly stemming from disappointments over your career or workplace jealousies.

___ Defensiveness. You instinctively defended yourself from an accusation or verbal attack. Instead of seeking to understand criticism leveled against you and evaluating it on its merits, you expressed instant outrage and lashed back.