You'll add to your stress if you intervene ineffectively. Conduct a roleplay as you referee a dispute between two employees (played by two trusted colleagues). Tape the exercise and listen to ensure that you do not fall into any of these traps:

  • Preaching. "You have to grow up," "You need to think about how you are hurting others."
  • Blaming. "I don't want to point fingers, but you…," "The fault lies with you."
  • Personalizing. "Problems seem to follow you," "Your personality draws you into conflict."
  • Psychoanalyzing. "You crave approval," "You need to treat all that suppressed rage."
  • Hogging the spotlight. "You think you have it bad-I've got it worse."